up for a little ugliness?

Maybe that’s my desire...
Taking things too serious
Feeling things too deeply

For me, there’s no kidding
There’s no joking
There’s no fiction

There’s only deep inside
Undenying truth
Coming out in many ways

I feel like I can see it
And I can’t prtend
Maybe I’m crazy
But I feel it
It’s right in front of my eyes

I can’t laught
They condemn m
Tell me I’m onld
Too serious
Grumpy
Sick
Fragile
I should be normal
More superficial
Laugh more often
Goof off sometimes
(and my sometimes
are not enough: too few)
feel less deeply
at least, demonstrate less
laugh and keep going

HOW CAN I ACHIEVE THAT?

I try
I fail

I’m old, and dark, and deep, and sad, and ugly.

Last months of 2003

(ps:it's almost all gone now :) )